


Love Don't Change

by lovelyday86



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Smut, Time Skips, dojae through the years (again)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 11:22:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11035173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelyday86/pseuds/lovelyday86
Summary: In life you have to ask for what you want and what Jaehyun wants is Doyoung.





	Love Don't Change

**Author's Note:**

  * For [whenineternal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/whenineternal/gifts).



> Dedicated to Anne... My dojae shipper in crime, biggest cheerleader, and amazing friend. I'm sorry you had to wait so long for this.

“So, can I have your number?”

Doyoung scoffs. “Do I really look that easy?” The guy asking for his number, Jaehyun, is pretty cute and he kind of still can’t believe he’d approached him in the first place. Doyoung had gone out because getting drunk all alone in an empty apartment was too sad, even for him. He’d been halfway through his second beer when Jaehyun sat next to him.

“Easy?” Jaehyun’s eyebrows scrunch in confusion. “I thought we made enough small talk for this to be socially acceptable.” Doyoung laughs, his right hand covering his mouth, and Jaehyun smiles because he knows he’s going to get what he wants. He usually did. “Plus there are a lot of cute boys in this club and if I don’t get your number someone else might.”

“Give me your phone.” Doyoung dials his number from Jaehyun’s phone and hands it back. “There you go.”

Jaehyun smiles as he pockets his phone, tilting his head towards the dance floor. Doyoung nods, thinking he’s way too sober for this and holding Jaehyun’s hand shouldn’t make him feel so giddy.

//

 

“Wanna grab a cup of coffee some time?” Taeyong reads out loud from Doyoung’s phone. “Dude, you left him on ‘read’ for three hours? That’s just cruel.”

“I don’t know what to say!” Doyoung whines, getting promptly shushed by the other students in the library.

“Do you wanna go?” Taeyong asks, scrolling through Doyoung’s messages since he’d forgotten to ask for his phone back.

“Of course I do.” After the night at the club Doyoung was pleasantly surprised to wake up to a good morning text from Jaehyun. He’d jokingly reminded Jaehyun about the ‘three day rule’ to which Jaehyun had replied, “that doesn’t apply to guys as cute as you” and Doyoung had fallen just a little bit more. Since then they’d been texting every day, more or less.

“Then you say ‘sure I’d love to grab a coffee with you,” Taeyong says, changing his tone to one you’d use to talk to a small child.

“You don’t think,” Doyoung starts, drumming his fingers against the table. “You don’t think it’s too soon?”

Taeyong’s expression softens and he reaches over to link fingers with his best friend. “If you’re ready, then you’re ready. There isn’t a time frame for these things.” Doyoung hums in response and Taeyong hands him his phone back. “He said you reminded him of a bunny, which I’ve been saying for years, so I know he can be trusted.”

Doyoung kicks Taeyong under the table before accepting Jaehyun’s invitation.

 

//

 

“What are you having?” Jaehyun asks as he holds the door open and Doyoung steps though.

“An… espresso?” The door shuts behind Jaehyun, the jingling of the small bell attached to it drawing Doyoung’s attention. There’s a small smile on Jaehyun’s face and Doyoung notices for the first time that he has dimples.

“Not much of a coffee drinker, are you?”

“No, not really.” Doyoung says with a small shrug.

They decide that it’s best if Jaehyun orders for the both of them and, since he feels a little awkward, Doyoung finds a place to sit. He chooses a table in the corner for no particular reason, it’s not like the place is full, but people on dates choose such tables for privacy, right? Taeyong had said something about that before he left their apartment. It’d been a long time since he’d gone on a first date and the nerves were getting to him. He’s running his hands over his jeans and wondering if his outfit looks okay when Jaehyun comes back with their order. Doyoung accepts the mug from Jaehyun, surprised that the coffee smells so good. He blows on it a little before taking a sip. His eyes widen in shock because it’s actually much better than he was expecting.

“Good?” Jaehyun asks. The expression on his face is hopeful, eager, and just downright adorable.

“So good,” Doyoung affirms and takes another sip. “What is it?”

“A hazelnut latte.” Doyoung hums in appreciation. He has some foam on his upper lip and Jaehyun wants to reach over and wipe it off with his thumb, but he holds back. “Do you like mint?”

“Mhm. I do.”

“Then we’ll have to get you a peppermint mocha latte next time.”

“There’s gonna be a next time?” Doyoung tries to ask lightly.

“Hopefully,” Jaehyun replies. “And a time after that and a time after that.”

 

//

“Why do you do that?

“Do what?” Doyoung asks, wiping the tears from the corner of his eyes. Jaehyun had been telling him the story of how he walked in on his younger brother kissing a boy before he’d officially come out and the way Jaehyun told it was so funny that he’s been laughing loud enough to draw the attention of the other customers in what was fast becoming their favorite coffee spot.

“Cover your mouth when you laugh.”

“I know it’s only our,” Doyoung pauses to count on his fingers, “fourth date, but in case you haven’t noticed I have a huge mouth.”

“You’re counting.”

“Huh?”

“Our number of dates. You’re counting our number of dates,” Jaehyun clarifies. He’s wearing a pale pink crewneck sweater that looks so soft, but probably isn’t as soft as Jaehyun’s hand which Doyoung has been dying to hold.

“Yeah, guess I have. Is that lame?”

“Nope.” Jaehyun reaches across the small table to link their fingers together, like this isn’t the first time they’ve held hands, like they’ve sat just like this a thousand times before. Doyoung hopes his face doesn’t give away just how happy this makes him and that his palm doesn’t sweat so Jaehyun won’t let go. “I think it’s cute.”

 _I think you’re cute._ “I’m glad you think so.”

Doyoung seems to be studying their hands so Jaehyun takes a moment to study Doyoung. He really was cute enough to resemble a bunny, but the longer Jaehyun looked the hotter Doyoung got. Jaehyun tried not to be a superficial person, but the way Doyoung’s Adams apple bobbed in his perfectly sculpted neck was distracting. His thoughts are starting to go sideways and in an effort to stop them Jaehyun blurts out, “I really like your smile.”

For his random comment he’s rewarded with a blushing and flustered Doyoung. “Uhm, thank you.”

“So you shouldn’t cover it when you laugh.”

Doyoung smiles wide and squeezes Jaehyun’s hand so Jaehyun squeezes back.

//

“Can I kiss you?”

“Huh?” Doyoung replies, lamely. They went to different universities, but because they lived in what was often described in brochures as “the quintessential college town” luckily their apartments weren’t that far from each other. They’d spent the afternoon playing video games with Jaehyun’s roommates and at the end of the day Jaehyun had so gallantly offered to walk Doyoung to his apartment. They held hands all the time now and a walk home was the perfect opportunity for both of them to share this new found habit, innocent yet intimate in its own way.

“I really want to kiss you when we get to your building. Right in front of the door like in the movies.”

“That’s… That’s really adorable, Jaehyun.” Doyoung chuckles because the expression on Jaehyun’s face resembles that of a child that’s been scolded. Even though Doyoung is only a year older he sometimes liked to tease Jaehyun when he said something especially cute or innocent. The longer they were together, the more Doyoung realized that the suave guy who’d hit on him at the club could sometimes be the human embodiment of a marshmallow. “You don’t have to pout. Or you know what? Keep pouting. You look cute like that.” Doyoung resists the urge to ruffle Jaehyun’s hair or boop his nose as he rolls his eyes at him.

They walk the rest of the way in silence. Doyoung knows that Jaehyun is upset with him, but it can’t be that serious because their fingers are still entwined. It’s not very long before they reach Doyoung’s building.

“Well, I guess I’ll call you later. Goodnight,” Jaehyun says in a rush, already turning on his heel before he hears Doyoung’s response.

“Don’t I get a kiss first?”

“But…” Doyoung watches as the expression on Jaehyun’s face changes from one of confusion to one of determination. Jaehyun’s cups his face lightly, his fingers feel so soft against Doyoung’s cheeks and his eyes fall shut when Jaehyun presses their lips together. He’d had a lot of first kisses in his life so far, but Doyoung’s first kiss with Jaehyun is definitely the sweetest.

//

“Will you be my boyfriend?”

Doyoung looks up from this book to see Jaehyun fidgeting next to him. They were in a library, not the most romantic of settings, but Jaehyun just couldn’t hold it in any longer. He had to make things official. He had to make sure.

“I’m not already your boyfriend?” Doyoung shoves a highlighter into his book to keep the page and so he can give Jaehyun his full attention.

“I thought it’d be nice to ask,” Jaehyun mumbles, shifting his eyes to the table between them. The way Doyoung is smiling at him is too sweet and it’s making him blush. “It’s only been two months. I didn’t wanna make any assumptions.”

“At our age isn’t two months a significant amount of time?” There’s a teasing edge to Doyoung’s voice which, much to his delight, gets under Jaehyun’s skin.

“I guess that’s a no then.” Sure, Jaehyun could’ve chosen a better location to ask. Even the coffee shop would’ve been a better option, but he just had to know. Doyoung was his first text in the morning, his last call in the evening, and the person who occupied his thoughts during all the hours in between. Jaehyun knows he’s falling fast and that it’s better to face rejection now than have his heart shattered in a few months. “That’s… fine.”

“I didn’t say that. Ask me again.”

“Huh?” Jaehyun asks, about to unceremoniously shove all of his study materials in his back pack and speed walk out of the library.

“Ask me to be your boyfriend again. I promise you’ll like the answer.” 

Even though he’s flustered as all hell Jaehyun starts to ask, “Will you be -”

“Use my name,” Doyoung interrupts, a small smile on his face.

“Kim Doyoung, will you be my boyfriend?” It takes all of a second for Doyoung to answer, but in that time Jaehyun swears that he ages at least five years.

“Of course,” Doyoung replies. The way Jaehyun is beaming at him makes his heart do a tiny flip in his chest. “Now get over here and kiss me, boyfriend.”

“In the library?” Jaeyhun questions even as he makes his way around the table.

“On the cheek,” Doyoung clarifies. Jaehyun places a kiss to his cheek and another one to his temple for good measure. “Made you sweat there, didn’t I?” Instead of answering Jaehyun just rolls his eyes and laces their fingers together. “Do people even ask things like that nowadays? You didn’t have to make it so formal.”

“I just,” Jaehyun pauses, using his free hand to gesture between them, “want to get this thing right.”

“This relationship?” Doyoung’s eyes are teasing again and Jaehyun is considering really kissing him, not caring whether they became one of those gross PDA couples.

“Yes, this relationship. Our relationship as boyfriends.”

“As lovers,” Doyoung replies a hint of something that Jaehyun doesn’t yet recognize in his eyes.

“Well, not yet.”

“Guess I’ll have to change that then,” Doyoung replies, unsuccessfully dodging Jaehyun’s swat to the chest.

Jaehyun returns to his original seat and Doyoung admires his blush.

 

//

“Why don’t you stay the night?”

Coming from Jaehyun such a question could usually be considered innocent, but Doyoung has a feeling that he’s been planning this. It’d been two weeks since they started going steady (that’s how he’d explained it to Taeyong who in response started laughing hard enough to cry) and in those fourteen days the sexual tension between them had grown considerably. The lingering touches and flirtatious texts had Doyoung feeling like a teen again, with all the morning wood and the need to jerk off in the shower. They’d been to each other’s places several times already, but Jaehyun has never asked him to stay over until tonight, which just happens to be a night when he has the apartment all to himself.

“Okay,” Doyoung replies simply, willing to follow Jaehyun’s lead just in case he’s wrong. Anyway, they’d napped together and he finds that he likes the feeling of Jaehyun pressed against him as he sleeps.

Getting ready for bed with Jaehyun felt more natural then Doyoung was expecting, sharing toothpaste and smiling at each other in the small bathroom mirror. Jaehyun says that they're lucky there's an extra toothbrush lying around and Doyoung agrees even though he knows better. They make their way to the bedroom and when Jaehyun strips down to only his boxers while Doyoung tries not to let his eyes linger for too long. Jaehyun's bed is too small for two fully grown men, but they make it work sharing a pillow while Jaehyun sandwiches one of Doyoung's thighs between his own. The silence that hangs between them is heavy, but not uncomfortable, and Doyoung is about to break it when Jaehyun leans forward to kiss him. Doyoung’s surrenders to the kiss immediately, opening his mouth so Jaehyun can map it with his tongue, and it isn’t long until his arousal is straining against the front of his pajama bottoms. They’d kissed before, but it was never like this, right at the tipping point of desperation. When they pull away both men are breathing heavily and Doyoung is a little stunned that he was feeling like his world had tipped on his axis from kissing alone. He sits up a little to take off his shirt and is pleased that it makes Jaehyun smile.

“Like what you see?” Doyoung asks as he settles back down. He likes the way Jaehyun’s hair looks, disheveled because he’d made it that way by running his fingers through it.

“Very much.” Jaehyun places his hand flat against Doyoung’s chest and Doyoung leans into the touch, wanting more, so Jaehyun gives it to him. He slides his hand down until he’s cupping Doyoung’s erection, rubbing the flat of his palm over the bulge, unbelievably turned on by the tiny “ahh” sound that leaves Doyoung’s mouth. Doyoung probably doesn’t realize it, but he’s gripping Jaehyun’s hip hard enough to bruise and Jaehyun can’t bear to tease him anymore. He slides Doyoung’s pants down just far enough, taking Doyoung’s cock into one hand and starting to stroke. There’s no lube nearby so Jaehyun spits into his palm and Doyoung thinks he might just come from the visual alone.

“Fuck,” Doyoung mumbles, eyes squeezed shut as the familiar pressure in his abdomen starts to build. It’s too soon, but there’s no way he’s going to last, not when Jaehyun is touching him in a way he’d been fantasizing about for weeks. He buries his face in Jaehyun’s neck as he comes.

It takes a few moments for Doyoung to come back to himself and when he does Jaehyun is grinning at him from ear to ear.

“Good, huh?” He laughs when Doyoung rolls his eyes.

“There is come drying on my stomach as we speak. You couldn’t wait until I wiped it off to gloat?”

“Nope.”

“You’re evil,” Doyoung retorts. “Bring me a washcloth or something and I’ll return the favor.” Jaehyun’s eyes go wide at that and it’s Doyoung’s turn to laugh. “You didn’t think I was gonna leave you hanging like that, did you?”

Instead of replying Jaehyun’s dashes out of the bedroom to find said washcloth. Doyoung smirks.

 

//

“Wait, you’re serious? As in never? Not even once?”

“Never,” Doyoung affirms, looking down at his hands. He wasn’t ever shy about sex, but this was kind of a sore subject.

After the first night he spent with Jaehyun it was like a dam broke. It’d been a whirlwind of getting tested, more hand jobs and sleepovers, finding out they were both clean, having sex to celebrate being in love and being clean, and a sexual exploration that neither of them had ever experienced previously.

“I can’t believe you’ve never topped before. That’s… It’s not weird, but it doesn’t seem like you,” Jaehyun wonders out loud.

“He… My ex… Wasn’t into it.”

Jaehyun frowns at that new piece of information. Every time the subject came up Doyoung tried very hard to avoid it when he could or gave curt answers when he couldn’t. They’d have to talk about it one day, but for now Jaehyun is willing to let it slide.  “But you want to try?”

“I do,” Doyoung nods. He’d been wanting to bring it up, but the past rejections had made it hard. He was also trying not to _get_ hard at the thought of fucking Jaehyun. What was this man doing to him? “If you’re comfortable with it, that is.”

“I’m more than comfortable with it,” Jaehyun replies happily. He makes a point to shut and lock the door of Doyoung’s tiny bedroom before sitting next to him on the bed. “I prefer it.” Jaehyun’s not sure what he was expecting, but it surely wasn’t a wailing Doyoung.

“Then you should’ve told me,” Doyoung whines. “All this time and you weren’t even enjoying -”

Not sure how to shut him up, Jaehyun opts to kiss his boyfriend, pressing their lips together until Doyoung relaxes enough to reciprocate. He cups Doyoung’s hand in one cheek when he pulls away. “Hey,” Jaehyun starts, rubbing his thumb over Doyoung’s cheekbone, “I’ve been enjoying our sex life very much. I just, you know, prefer to be… Uhm, babied a little.”

Doyoung snorts. "I've noticed."

He's bouncing his left foot hard enough to shake the bed, something Jaehyun's come to realize is a nervous tick. Jaehyun waits him out, pretending to be very interested in the crack on the wall adjacent to Doyoung's desk. But Jaehyun could never describe himself as a patient person so only a minute passes before he blurts out, "It doesn't have to be -"

"Lay down," Doyoung interrupts.

Jaehyun is surprised, but recovers quickly. "Ohhh... So bossy," he replies as he flops down on the bed.

"Shut up, bottom boy," Doyoung retorts, smiling down at a laughing Jaehyun. "Let's hope this isn't a complete disaster."

They take their time, kissing slowly while Doyoung cards his fingers through Jaehyun's hair the way he likes. Jaehyun cradles Doyoung's body between bent knees, his hands resting on the small of his boyfriend's back to keep him in place. He gasps when Doyoung grinds down on him experimentally, his hips rising off the bed to meet Doyoung's.

"If the goal was to make me come in my pants," Jaehyun manages to croak, "then you're doing an excellent job."

"No more teasing?" Doyoung guesses, sitting back on his heels and removing his shirt.

"Maybe next time."

Doyoung hums in the affirmative, tugging at Jaehyun's wrist to get him to sit up. He does and Doyoung helps him remove his shirt, sitting in silence, looking at Doyoung looking at him. His breath hitches when a thumb rubs over his bottom lip, pulling down on it slightly to part them. Doyoung places his index finger in between the parted lips and Jaehyun sucks on it, running his tongue along the long digit, imagining how it would soon be inside him in a completely different way. He stills as Doyoung runs the finger down his neck and down the middle of his chest leaving a wet trail all the way down to the waistband of his pants. Jaehyun lays back down, lifting his hips so that Doyoung can take off the last of his clothes. He feels his body flush as Doyoung's eyes rake over his naked body and it's in that moment that Jaehyun's patience runs out.

"Doyoung, come on."

"Huh?" Doyoung replies rather stupidly. He'd never seen Jaehyun so desperate after doing so little. The sight of Jaehyun under him, naked and covered in sweat was not only fascinating, but also an extreme turn on.

"Uhm... I can prep myself or do you wanna do it?"

"This conversation is so not sexy," Doyoung starts, "but I wanna try."

"Fuck, yes," Jaehyun laughs. "I was hoping you'd say that."

Doyoung shakes his head, but his smile is wide. The novelty of being able to joke and laugh during sex still hadn't worn off. It'd never been this way with anyone else and as the days went by Doyoung was starting to admit to himself that he didn't want to be with anyone else. After getting the lube and stripping down Doyoung gets back into bed. Jaehyun is slowly getting addicted to the way Doyoung kisses him, loving the way Doyoung's body presses him into the mattress. Their kisses grow sloppy, more frenzied, and when Doyoung slots their hips together Jaehyun let's out his loudest whine yet. Taking the hint, Doyoung sits back on his heels while Jaehyun bends his knees and places his feet flat on the bed. There's a heavy weight in Doyoung's chest that he can't explain and he takes a moment to steady himself, kissing both of Jaehyun's knees and running his fingertips over the outside of his thighs.

"You're thinking too much," Jaehyun says.

Doyoung slumps a little against Jaehyun's right leg. "I don't want to hurt you."

"Hey," Jaehyun sits up on his elbows. "Gimme a kiss." Doyoung obliges, pecking Jaehyun on the lips a few times before moving to his cheeks, his forehead his nose. It relaxes him and he smiles because he realizes that’s why Jaehyun asked for it. "You won't hurt me. Just think about what you like and we'll go from there. Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Doyoung's fingers are long and when the first one slides into his body Jaehyun makes a small noise of contentment while Doyoung curses under his breath. He could've never predicted how much he'd enjoy prepping Jaehyun, watching his fingers disappear inside his lover’s body, the tiny whimpers because of the stretch, the way Jaehyun's body tenses and arches off the bed when he curls his fingers just right. When Jaehyun tells him that he's ready Doyoung lubes himself up, adding even more to Jaehyun's stretched hole, the anticipation of it all making him lightheaded. They moan in tandem when the head of Doyoung's cock touches Jaehyun's warm body, Doyoung having to shut his eyes at the sheer intensity of it as he pushes inside.

"Jaehyun," Doyoung pants, his voice barely above a whisper. "Oh my god, Jaehyun."

"I know," Jaehyun whispers back, pulling Doyoung down for a kiss. "Just give me a second." He rubs his hands up and down Doyoung's back, waiting for his body to relax and adjust. It's not long before he does and Jaehyun cries out when the first thrust sends a mix of pain and pleasure shooting up his spine.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Doyoung’s apology comes out on a single breath and he stills immediately.

“It’s fine, I’m fine,” Jaehyun reassures. “It hurt a little, but its okay. I liked it. You can move, but take it slow.”

It takes a few minutes, but they find their rhythm. Doyoung balances on his elbows, his face buried in Jaehyun’s neck in a vain attempt to make the moment last. Jaehyun’s body feels too good under him, around him, warm and wet and pliant. Every thrust, every whispered word of praise from Jaehyun’s lips brings him closer to the edge and his hips falter and lose rhythm.

“That’s it,” Jaehyun coaxes. “Come inside of me. I wanna feel it.” He reaches between their bodies to tug at his own cock, watches as Doyoung reaches his climax, and follows soon after.

That night Doyoung falls into a dreamless sleep feeling safe and loved.

 

//

“Have you ever been in love?”

"Once," Doyoung replies, not looking up from his laptop. "Well, once other than this time so twice."

"You love me?" Jaehyun's eyes are teasing and Doyoung sighs and closes his laptop, moving from his desk to sit next to Jaehyun on the bed.

"You know I do. I just have trouble with the words. Not the words exactly, but saying the words. Sorry." He kisses an apology onto Jaehyun's lips and Jaehyun accepts even though there isn't anything to be sorry for.

"And the last time?" Jaehyun tries to keep the question casual even though he’s desperate for Doyoung to open up to him. It doesn't go unnoticed.

"I guess I owe you some tragic back story." Doyoung sighs and maneuvers them to a lying position on the bed. He feels the need to be held.

Johnny had been Doyoung’s first serious relationship. It wasn’t bad in the beginning. Johnny was so attentive, listened to all Doyoung’s problems, held him when he needed it, fucked him when he needed it, made him laugh, and told him he was beautiful.  Johnny was Doyoung's whole world and, now that Doyoung had the clarity of mind to reflect on it all, that was probably the root of their problems. On top of that Johnny was closed off and possessive, which caused Doyoung to isolate himself from everyone else in his life. Long story short they were a disaster waiting to happen. It took years for said disaster, in the form of a very explosive and public breakup, to happen and it left Doyoung completely devastated. Taeyong literally nursed him back to health, forcing Doyoung to eat, getting extensions for his coursework, even yelling at him when he needed it. Without him, Doyoung doesn’t know what would’ve happened.

“Hey,” Doyoung whispers, wiping a tear off Jaehyun’s cheek. “Don’t cry. I’m okay.”

Jaehyun sniffs a little, clearing his throat before speaking. “I’m the one who should be comforting you.” He’s pouting again, which Doyoung knows he sometimes did on purpose, but it was currently genuine and therefore much, much cuter. Doyoung shushes him with a kiss before turning over to press his back against Jaehyun’s chest. Recalling those events in his life had been both physically and emotionally draining. His eyes are drooping closed when Jaehyun starts to speak, slowly at first as if he’s afraid to say the wrong thing.

“You know… I’d never do that to you right?” Jaehyun’s arms tighten around Doyoung’s waist. “Even if we don’t work out, I would never want to humiliate you or hurt you like that.”

There’s a tightening in Doyoung’s chest, his heart swelling to a size that doesn’t quite fit in his body and he half laughs half sobs his reply. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

No other words need to be said. The next morning Doyoung wakes up still wrapped up in Jaehyun’s arms, his scent, his love and he admits that he never wants to untangle himself from any of it.

 

//

[Jaehyun] : I fucked up. I’m sorry. Where are you?

Leaving Jaehyun on read is hard, but Doyoung doesn’t feel like replying. He needs some time to clear his head. The last few months had been hard, not because of the relationship, but because of life in general. Doyoung’s collegiate life was coming to an end and in one year’s time Jaehyun would follow him. Maybe Doyoung had been less attentive than usual since he was preparing for graduation, but it’d been two years after all and he thought they were fine. Jaehyun had proved him wrong just that morning. Somehow they’d managed to get a free day together and decided to spend it packing Doyoung’s things since Doyoung was starting an internship right after graduation and had opted to move closer to the company. Even though he would miss the shitty apartment he had shared with Taeyong for over three years it was time to start growing up, if only a little. It had been one of the most peaceful mornings Doyoung had experienced this entire semester until Jaehyun took down his memo board, dislodging some notes and an old picture.

“Who’s this?”

Doyoung didn’t need to look. He knew who it was. Honestly, he’d forgotten about the picture entirely. “My ex.”

“Why do you still have it?” Jaehyun asks, not bothering to hide the accusation.

“I dunno, must’ve gotten stuck behind some other papers. I didn’t know it was still there.”

“Oh, really?”

“What do you mean really?” Doyoung was trying to be patient, but he didn’t need this right now. He needed to be packed, moved out, graduating, and not fighting with his boyfriend over an ex. “What’s there to be confused about?”

Jaehyun scoffed, actually made a sound of disbelief right to his face. “So I’m just supposed to take your word for it, am I?”

“Why wouldn’t you?”

“Got any more surprises in here?” Jaehyun asks, gesturing around the room, picture still in hand. “I’m not gonna find a pair of _his_ boxers in here, am I? Maybe a box of stuff that he gave you? Love letters?”

“Of course not, I-”

“Threw them all out?” Jaehyun yells and Doyoung is so glad that Taeyong isn’t home. “Then why is this here, huh? Why do you still have this?” The picture is half crumpled in Jaehyun’s hand.

“I told you, I don’t know. It just got left behind. Jaehyun, please-”

“I can see why you kept it though. He’s hot.”

Doyoung’s blood runs cold. Jaehyun isn’t wrong, that’s what attracted Doyoung to Johnny in the first place, but to hear him say it made Doyoung sick.

“Jaehyun, stop.”

“You never said he was tall. Such pretty lips too. Nicer than mine.”

“Jaehyun, what the fuck,” Doyoung tries to yell over him, but Jaehyun is fucking pissed, so pissed that he’s crying and doesn’t realize it.

“I bet he was a good kisser too. Was he? That’s why you kept this picture, huh? So you’d have something to remember him by.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying. Just try to calm down-”

“Calm down?” Jaehyun’s voice is booming and Doyoung flinches at the force of it. “How the fuck do you expect me to calm down, Doyoung? For all I know you’ve been wearing his clothes to bed when you sleep next to me. Just admit you still love him. Admit you want him back.”

Doyoung is out the door and halfway down the first flight of steps before he allows a sob to escape him. Once it starts he can’t stop it so he sits on a step and cries and cries and cries. He thinks Jaehyun will come for him, but he doesn’t so after his body stops shaking he leaves the apartment complex.

 It’s almost an hour later when Jaehyun first tries to call, three times in a row since Doyoung keeps rejecting it. On the fourth call Doyoung just lets his phone vibrate until Jaehyun gives up first and hangs up. Miraculously Doyoung has his wallet with him so he’s able to buy himself a meal. He doesn’t know how he finishes it, but apparently his body was on auto pilot until his emotions sorted themselves out. He finds himself on a park bench when he gets the most recent text from Jaehyun. Night is beginning to fall and he doesn’t understand how he’d spent so many hours doing nothing but wandering around and stewing in his own feelings. So far Doyoung has decided on two things: One, that he wants to go home and two, that he doesn’t want to break up with Jaehyun no matter how upset he is.

Jaehyun doesn’t even flinch when he hears the door of the apartment open, someone stepping and closing it behind themselves. Somehow he knows that it’s Doyoung.

“I packed the rest of your things,” he says, from the spot on the floor, surrounded by cardboard boxes labeled in his own handwriting. “I just wanted to make sure you came home.”

No response. Doyoung must still be standing by the door so Jaehyun sighs, unsure of how to make his escape. He knows that this is very likely the last few moments he’ll spend with Doyoung and yet he still wants to take the cowardly way out. He hears footsteps approaching him and he stiffens, waiting to get yelled at or kicked out. Instead Doyoung  says, “I’m not breaking up with you.” If Doyoung wasn’t so worn out he would’ve laughed at the look on Jaehyun’s face. “Do you want me to more upset because you thought I’d leave you after one fight?”

“But,” Jaehyun sputters, “But that was bad. Like really _bad_.”

Doyoung can’t help but to smile just a little, the corners of his mouth turn up just so. “It was. Even though I know you didn’t mean any of the things you said it still hurt to hear them. I cried in the stairwell after I left.”

“I’m sorry,” Jaehyun blurts out. “Fuck, Doyoung, I don’t know what happened. I just saw his face and I couldn’t stop myself from getting angry. I know it’s not fair, that you’ve never given me a reason to be insecure, but I just couldn’t help it.”

“Will you look at me?” Doyoung requests, smiling just a little bit more when Jaehyun complies. “Jaehyun, is there something you’re not telling me?” By the slight shift in Jaehyun’s body language, he knows he’s hit the nail on the head. It wasn’t like Jaehyun to get angry, much less lash out in such a big way.

“I’m just scared,” Jaehyun admits and it feels like a weight off his chest, one he didn’t realize he’d been carrying around for months now. “You’re graduating, moving out, moving on and I’ll still be stuck here for another year-”

“Jaehyun,” Doyoung interjects, “You’re not something I’m gonna grow out of. You’re not a phase in my life or an apartment. You’re my partner and the man I love.” Doyoung pauses to take a breath. “I don’t know what will happen in the future. I don’t like to make promises I can’t keep, but I can promise you this, I will do everything I can to keep us together. I’ll lose sleep, commute here on the weekends, whatever else I can think of. So don’t doubt me anymore, okay? Don’t doubt us.”

At some point during Doyoung’s speech both of them had started crying and it only feels natural to hold each other through the tears. Jaehyun rarely cries and it hurts Doyoung in a way that makes him feel helpless.

“I’m sorry,” Jaehyun says again and again and Doyoung accepts every apology, kissing Jaehyun’s temple and rubbing his back.

“Are you tired? I’m tired,” Doyoung whispers against Jaehyun’s hair. “Come on, let’s go to bed.”

Jaehyun let’s himself be pulled from the floor and towards the bed. “But it’s barely eight o’clock.”

“Mhm. Arguing with you is tiring. Plus, I was thinking about something?”

“What something?”

“Morning makeup sex.”

Jaehyun blinks twice before tripping over his own feet trying to get into bed and Doyoung hopes that he will always be this cute and boyish. Doyoung falls asleep first and Jaehyun makes a silent promise to be better before sleep takes him as well.

 

//

“Why me, then?”

“Huh?” Doyoung replies while loading the dishwasher. They were celebrating Jaehyun’s graduation by having dinner with Jaehyun’s family before meeting up with friends.

“Like, why’d you choose me?”

“First of all, can you not spring those questions on me while I’m handling your mom’s probably very expensive dishes? Second of all, you chose me. Literally, you chose me out of a very sweaty, very drunk crowd of people.” He knows he’s being difficult on purpose, but it was the fastest way to make Jaehyun pout.

“You know what I mean,” Jaehyun whines and Doyoung smiles because that’s exactly what he wanted.  

“Hmm,” he hums, pretending to think while loading the rest of the dishes and turning the dishwasher on. “Because you’re cute.” He kisses Jaehyun on the nose so he can watch his eyes cross just for a second.

“And?”

“And… Because you’re smart. I got myself a man with a college degree. Guess that makes me pretty smart as well.” Jaehyun props himself up on the island at the center of kitchen and Doyoung stands between his legs looking up at him. “More?” Jaehyun nods, cross his ankles around Doyoung’s back, preventing his escape. “I chose you because of your dimples, that pink sweater you wore on our fourth date, because you make me laugh even though you’re terribly unfunny, and you’re a decent cook. Is that enough?”

“That’ll do,” Jaehyun replies, leaning down to kiss Doyoung. Their lips barely brush when they hear the sound of a camera shutter followed by a mumbled “Oh, fuck.”

Doyoung laughs when he sees Jaehyun’s younger brother standing in the entrance of the kitchen holding his phone.

“Mark, what the fuck,” Jaehyun groans.

“You two are so gross I had to capture the moment,” Mark explains and Jaehyun is very tempted to throw a banana at him. “Mom said she wants to take a picture of you guys to put on the family Christmas card.”

Jaehyun groans even louder and Doyoung smiles, thinking that’s it ridiculous how happy and in love he is in that moment.

They meet Taeyong, his boyfriend Yuta, and the rest of their friends at a bar a few hours later. It’s a lot louder than usual and Doyoung realizes he might be, what the adults called, getting old. He and Taeyong sit together, nursing their beers, and commiserating just a little. Much to their dismay Jaehyun and Yuta decide that body shots are a good idea.

“When was the last time you did a body shot?” Taeyong asks, grimacing when Yuta drops the lime wedge on the floor, but picks it back up and shoves it in his mouth.

“Probably 1874,” Doyoung replies. Jaehyun’s hiccups are getting progressively worse and Doyoung knows that if he doesn’t intervene soon then Jaehyun will wake up with a hangover just as bad as that time he passed a final he was sure he had failed, thinking that tequila was the best way to celebrate defying the odds.

“It’s time to take them home isn’t it?”

“It is,” Doyoung agrees. “If Yuta hugs Jaehyun one more time Jaehyun will probably start crying.”

They make it back to the apartment and luckily Jaehyun has sobered up enough to avoid all the boxes filled with his things. He still hadn’t quite moved in.

“I need to lay down,” Jaehyun declares, stripping as he goes. “It’s so hot,” he explains when Doyoung frowns at the trail of clothes leading to their bed.

Sighing, Doyoung plugs in an electric fan and points it directly at Jaehyun who hums happily at closes his eyes. They needed the fan because the summers were brutal, the air-conditioning unreliable, and Jaehyun’s body generated so much heat that without it they’d both wake up in a puddle of his sweat. Doyoung had come to appreciate winter nights very much. He putters around the apartment a little more, making sure they have food for breakfast and a suitable enough coffee for a hungover Jaehyun. After washing up Doyoung is surprised to find that Jaehyun is still awake.

“Want you,” Jaehyun murmurs as Doyoung settles in next to him.

“Of course you do,” Doyoung agrees, laughing when Jaehyun pouts at him.

“I’m being serious.” Jaehyun kisses Doyoung to prove how serious he is. As always, Doyoung accepts his kisses, petting Jaehyun’s hair and caressing his face just the way he likes.

“Come on. Let’s sleep,” Doyoung coaxes after pulling away. Instead of responding Jaehyun pulls him even closer, nipping the shell of Doyoung’s ear while his hands travel lower and lover on Doyoung’s body.

“Don’t wanna,” Jaehyun murmurs, rubbing Doyoung over his pajama bottoms.

It feels amazing, it always does, but Doyoung still lets out a small chuckle. “As if you can even get it up, drunk boy.”

“I can, I can,” Jaehyun insists, hand slipping inside Doyoung’s pants. “I’ll be good. I’m a good boy.”

Now Doyoung knows for sure that Jaehyun isn’t as drunk as he originally thought. If he was there was no way he’d be able to push his buttons like this. Maybe Jaehyun’s body metabolized alcohol at super speed.

“Alright,” Doyoung concedes because he’s already half hard and Jaehyun is being stubborn as hell. “If you can be a good boy and get hard then I’ll let you come. How does that sound?”

“Fuck,” Jaehyun groans as Doyoung settles on top of him. “Please.”

Its 3:15 in the morning and Doyoung is done with talking and teasing. Jaehyun’s skin is warm to the touch, almost feverish, and Doyoung makes him even hotter with all open mouth kisses and light touches. Jaehyun’s nipples are especially sensitive and Doyoung takes him time playing with them, sucking on one while rolling the other between his fingers before he switches. He watches Jaehyun react to it all beautifully, abs tensing, back arching, morning his name quietly over and over. It takes longer than usual, but soon enough Jaehyun is hard and panting, rocking his hips to try and fuck into Doyoung’s fist. Doyoung allows it, tightening his grip just so and kissing the tip of Jaehyun’s wet cock.

“Now be a good boy and come for me.”

Jaehyun’s body reacts almost immediately, always eager to please Doyoung like this. He’s absolutely spent and Doyoung rolls his eyes at his boyfriend’s attempts to stay awake.

“Sleep, baby,” Doyoung says so Jaehyun, ever the good boy, does.

//

"One floor or two?"

"Two," Doyoung replies immediately.

Currently this was their new favorite game, fantasizing about their dream home whenever things in their crappy apartment went to shit. This time it was the electricity and as a result they were in bed huddled under several blankets. Jaehyun said they should pretend that they lit candles to set the mood versus out of necessity. It was the one extravagance that Jaehyun could never get rid of. Currently his favorite scent is lavender and thank god because Doyoung was sick and tired of vanilla.

"Fireplace or no fireplace?"

It takes him a little longer to answer. "It would be nice, but it's not necessary."

"But," Jaehyun's lip juts out a little and Doyoung can't help but kiss it earning him a slap in the chest. "If there's no fireplace there's no chimney, and if there's no chimney how will Santa bring the kids their Christmas presents?"

"Maybe we'll raise our kids without the whole Santa narrative." He laughs when Jaehyun hits him again.

"How can you say such blasphemous things? Christmas is right around the corner and Santa is watching."

"So have I been naughty or nice?"

"You? You're always naughty. I, on the other hand, have always been a nice boy."

"I can't disagree," Doyoung replies, snuggling closer so he can tangle their legs together, squishing one of Jaehyun's thighs between his own.

It'd been a hard year for them financially because Doyoung was unemployed for most of it. This meant that they couldn't look for a nicer apartment and that Jaehyun had to work extra hard to keep them afloat. He'd never complained through any of it, not even when he came home to a sulky Doyoung who hadn't even bothered to make dinner. There were worse days where Doyoung felt too unmotivated and useless to get out of bed and Jaehyun would coax him out or yell at him, whichever was more effective. Somewhere along the way Jaehyun had learned to be patient. The universe had decided to give them a break and Doyoung is finally employed. It has been about a month since Jaehyun had come home to see Doyoung crying on the couch. He feared the worst, but when Doyoung handed him his signed employment contract he couldn't help but tear up himself. He never would have thought that one day he'd describe a signing bonus as beautiful.

"I love you," Doyoung murmurs. He'd gotten better at saying it over the years, but it still wasn't anything close to an everyday occurrence.

"Oh my god. You didn't get fired, did you?"

"No, no, no," Doyoung assures, feeling how Jaehyun's body goes from tense to relaxed in the span of a few seconds. "Note to self, do not tell Jaehyun you love him spontaneously or else he will assume the worst."

"I'm hungry," Jaehyun whines, changing the subject. "Feed me."

"I don't have any food, but I can still feed you." Doyoung attempts to wiggle his eyebrows suggestively and Jaehyun just laughs at him.

"Don't be nasty."

"Oh, but being nasty and naughty go hand in hand. I'm already on Santa's naughty list so I might as well make the most of it. Let’s not let this candlelight go to waste."

Jaehyun laughs and laughs, let's Doyoung roll him onto his back and finally kiss him quiet.

 

//

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

“I mean I don’t know, Jaehyun. Can we even afford it?”

They’d finally done it. After almost three years of only brewing coffee at home, no movie dates or vacations, and a multitude of other sacrifices they’d purchased their first home. It wasn’t anything fancy. The home improvement shows Doyoung is obsessed with would label it a “fixer upper,” but he still cried when the realtor placed the house keys in their hand while Jaehyun livestreamed the entire thing on social media. They hadn’t even really begun to move in so dinner tonight consisted of Chinese takeout eaten straight from the white carton. Jaehyun’s pair of wooden chopsticks had broken as soon as he tried to separate them so he was currently being fed and enjoying it very much.

“Of course we can. I budgeted for it.” Jaehyun opens his mouth for some fried rice and hums happily when Doyoung gives it to him. If there’s one thing about him that hadn’t diminished over the years it was his appetite. Well, that and his boyish charm.

“Since when do you know how to budget for anything?” Doyoung thinks that he might as well just hand the food and the chopsticks to Jaehyun, but then he wouldn’t get to observe him looking like a puppy begging for food. It’s too cute so he doesn’t.

“I can do anything I set my mind to. Besides we deserve this trip and I already booked our flights and the hotel.”

“Then why’d you ask if I wanted to go on vacation?”

“Because it’s polite.” Doyoung rolls his eyes. “May I please have some more rice?”

The rest of their dinner passes in comfortable silence, Jaehyun scrolling through his phone, being fed, and taking a candid photo of Doyoung and posting it with #slave in the caption. Taeyong is the first person to like it. Even though it’s already late evening Doyoung can’t stop himself from starting to organize, quickly locating the boxes labeled “bedroom” so he can find them some sheets to sleep on. Their new bed wouldn’t be arriving for another day so they had to make due with a mattress on the floor. Instead of helping, Jaehyun finds a comfortable spot to watch his boyfriend fret over whether he packed the pillow protectors with the living room or bedroom things.

“Can you believe we’ve been together for almost nine years?”

“Don’t remind me,” Doyoung replies. “Aha! I found them.”

Jaehyun doesn’t think the pillow protectors are necessary, but he knows better than to comment on it. “You’re thirty years old now.”

“You calling me old?” Of course Doyoung had begun to make their bed in record time and yes they are going to sleep in the living room because neither of them wanted to lug their king sized mattress up the stairs to the bedroom. They’d gotten their two story home complete with a fireplace for Santa.

“Uh huh. Old man. Old fart.”

“You think I’ll look good with gray hair?” Doyoung aks, pushing his bangs out of his face. “Should I dye it gray now so you can decide whether you like it or not?”

“See, I’ll love you when your hair turns grey,” Jaehyun sings quietly, watching how Doyoung blushes ever so slightly. It was rare, but he’s glad that he could still manage to get that reaction after so many years.

“Don’t start with the Musiq Soulchild. You know what that does to me.”

“I do, I do,” Jaehyun replies. He gets up to hug Doyoung from behind, kissing the back of his neck. “Boy, the way we are is how we’re gonna be just as long as your love don’t change.” He murmurs the lyrics against Doyoung’s skin.

"You're so corny," is Doyoung's reply. He rests his hands on the arms around his waist and leans into Jaehyun.

"I am."

"And I wouldn't have you any other way."

//

“Walk with me?”

“Seriously? Now? I don’t want to miss the fireworks,” Doyoung whines.

This is what he was like on vacation. It was less about relaxing and more about making sure no moment went to waste. Jaehyun wanted to keep their destination a secret, but Doyoung wouldn’t have it. He needed to make an itinerary, he needed to make plans. Doyoung had even gone as far as to buy a guidebook to make notes in which Jaehyun teased him about relentlessly. He wasn’t even aware that guidebooks were still being published. What was the point when everything could be looked up on the internet? He’d said as much to Doyoung and been shushed and told to not mess with his “process.” Two ballpens, a highlighter, and several annotations later Doyoung had come up with what he deemed to be the perfect Hawaiian itinerary. Getting a massage wasn’t included on the list of activities and Jaehyun was determined to change that. But first things first, their walk on the beach.

“Yes, now. How does the saying go again? ‘There’s no time but the present.’” Doyoung scowls at his poor attempts at humor so Jaehyun adds, “It’s not far and I promise the view will be amazing from there.”

This seems to appease Doyoung because he gets up from the table to take Jaehyun’s out stretched hand. “I better not miss those fireworks.”

Jaehun smiles, lifting their intertwined fingers to kiss the back of Doyoung’s hand. “You won’t. Sources say that it’s actually the best spot to watch the display.”

By sources Jaehyun meant the bartender at their hotel. Like most of the staff he’s a local, Waikiki born and raised, who had been very forthcoming when Jaehyun asked about a place to take a date. The hotel had a luau once a week, the fireworks display being the grand finale, and Jaehyun wanted Doyoung to have the best view. As soon as they’d exited the airport and Jaehyun had seen Doyoung’s reaction he knew Hawaii had been the right choice. His face had lit up in a way he hadn’t seen in a long time. Even though he was a meticulous planner there was something about trips that brought out a more childish and excitable side of Doyoung. They’d been to the beach together, seen fireworks together, but the combination of the two plus being in Hawaii for the first time had Doyoung radiating joy and it made Jaehyun’s heart swell. They walk for a few minutes in silence, barefoot, close to the water’s edge so that the tide washes over their feet while sweat trickles down their backs because of the heat. Jaehyun is relieved when he spots their destination. He’d been warned that it was popular amongst local couples, but thankfully they had it all to themselves. He helps Doyoung climb the small rock formation that connects the beach to the ocean. The tide is low so they can sit without getting wet and since they’re away from the hotel and the artificial lights, they had a clear and uninterrupted view of the night sky.

“So?” Jaehyun asks, seeking his boyfriend’s approval and he’s quickly rewarded with a kiss to his temple.

“Not bad. This definitely wasn’t in my guidebook.”

The sound of Jaehyun’s laugh is drowned out by the sound of the fireworks. Doyoung startles, but his expression of surprise quickly changes to one of wonder as he watches the show change the color of the sky from gold to red to blue and back to gold again. He knows a little about the history of fireworks, the science behind it, and is amazed at how they could still seem so magical. The hotel website had described their weekly fireworks display as a “must see” even though Jaehyun thinks that’s true he can’t tear his eyes away from Doyoung’s face. He always though Doyoung was beautiful, stunning even, but there was something about the way he looked tonight that was stealing the breath from Jaehyun’s chest. Tonight Doyoung is happy and burden free, the stresses of bills and work and everyday life were far from his mind and it made him look younger, more like the college student Jaehyun had fallen in love with all those years ago. It was a feat of his own that they’d made it this far, but Jaehyun was ready to take it one step further. He pulls Doyoung’s back against his chest, hoping that the small bump in the left pocket of his shorts isn’t obvious.

 

//

“Kim Doyoung, will you marry me?”

The ocean doesn’t exist, the beach doesn’t exist, nothing else in the world is relevant because Jaehyun is down on one knee holding a tiny boy and offering a lifetime of love. Doyoung answers, but the sound of his heart is beating so loudly that he’s not sure if Jaehyun heard it. In the next moment they’re kissing, he wraps his arms around Jaehyun’s neck and kisses him with everything he’s got, tears streaming down his face as his knees tremble. Jaehyun keeps him standing, every strong and supporting, and Doyoung leans into the touch even more.

“Yes,” Doyoung cries, the initial shock slowly giving way to excitement. “Yes, yes, yes.”

Nothing could ever compare to Doyoung’s beauty in this moment, his eyes shimmering like the reflection of the moon on the water. The joy radiating off of him was contagious and Jaehyun thinks he must look like an idiot with a grin plastered on his face.

“I love you so much,” Jaehyun says, smiling through tears of his own and Doyoung has to kiss him again.

“I love you too.”

When Jaehyun finally slips the silver ring on Doyoung’s finger it feels like the perfect beginning to the next chapter of their lives.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this completely self indulgent fic with no plot. I love you times a million.
> 
>  
> 
> [song reference](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzBD8t0sB-4)
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/lovelyday_86)   
>  [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/lovelyday86)


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